I can see clearly now, whoa.

My younger daughter needed glasses so we went to the eye doctor. She must have my poor vision genes since I've needed, although not consistently worn, glasses since fifth grade. I had a pair of glasses that were seven years old. Been having trouble reading fine print so I made an appointment for myself. Did the exam and told the eye doc of my latest reading challenges.
-Oh, sounds like you need progressive lenses. He tells me.
- What's that like bifocals? I ask.
- Well, we don't call them bifocals, they're progressive lenses.

Bifocals. So I order a cool pair of frames. Hip Ray-Bans to lessen the middle age stigma. They text me, imagine that, text me to let me know they're in. I go in for the fitting and once I put them on, whoaaaaa. Slight dizziness, eyes dilated. Oh, that's a natural side effect at first, I'm told.  You'll get used to it. Other side effects include, hitching my pants past my navel, driving ten miles below the speed limit, and referring to young people as whippersnappers. Just love my bifocals, I mean progessive lenses.