It Felt Like a Modern Family Episode....

Remember the lazy cat Halloween decoration? Contrast that prone pussycat to this poised-to-pounce one:

Before Halloween, my neighbor planned to put this menacing blow-up cat on top of his garage. While hoisting the cat onto the roof, he first rested the ferocious feline atop of his SUV. 

When I saw this gigantic grimalkin crouching on top of the car I joked, "Hey, you should keep the cat on the roof of your car and drive around town!" Then I remembered the Modern Family episode when Mitch and Cam tied giant stuffed animals onto their car's roof.

Well, a single cat couldn't create such a hilariously obscene scene.The blow-up cat's only movements would be inflating when the engine was on and deflating when the engine was off. I suggested to my neighbor that he plug the cat into his car's DC connector to keep the fan going.

Sadly, he declined my suggestion: he didn't want to tote around a cat that blew up and delated as he drove around town.

Halloween Decorations

I love all Halloween decorations, especially ones that move. My favorite one is an inflatable cauldron with a witch’s legs sticking out and kicking back and forth!

Another one is a giant inflatable haunted tree. Shaking and glowing, the tree extends its branch-claws to reach out and grab you.

A third creative design is a witch riding a bike … with black-purple-orange spoked wheels spinning in the wind. 

Even a decoration that doesn’t actually move – a red-eyed black horse pulling a haunted carriage driven by white masked ghoul – suggests a scary ride you wouldn’t want to take!

I also enjoy Halloween decorations that don’t move. In contrast to their animated counterparts, some “still” decorations seem a bit lazy. I saw a huge inflatable black cat, for example, flopped on its stomach with its legs sticking out to the side. Most menacing inflatable cat decorations are poised to pounce, not to nap. And what about ghosts sitting in chairs? How does a ghost even sit in a chair -- wouldn’t it just fall through? Finally, the skeletons lying down on ground – not posed like they are climbing out of graves – crack me up. They look like they’re taking a snooze. But how are skeletons tired? Aren't they dead?  

On the other hand, when I see a scarecrow sitting in a chair I understand why – after all, it stands all day and night watching over a field. The scarecrow who seems to need a break the most is the one I’ve seen napping in a hammock.