Only in Olney

The Heat!

These dog days of summer are more aptly named the St Bernards of the sauna season. Whenever I exit an air-conditioned building, I feel like I've stepped out of a refrigerator and climbed into an oven. Just the other day, as I dragged myself out of the frigid (but oh so comfortable) Giant and was smacked in the face with a wall of baking air, I suddenly heard a voice in my head scream, "The heat! My God, the heat!" I almost started laughing in the parking lot as I recognized this plaintive cry; in the Seinfeld episode called "The Burning," Elaine yells to boyfriend Puddy, "I'm going to h-ll! The worst place in the world. With devils and those caves and the ragged clothing. And the heat! My God, the heat!"

Now of course Olney is nowhere near the worse place on earth! The "devils" are harmless but mischievous little tykes, the local "caves" (Crystal Grottoes Caverns in Boonsboro, MD and Lurray Caverns in Virginia) offer oases for cooling off, and "ragged clothing" in the form of t-shirts, tank tops, shorts, and bathing suits rule! However, I can't escape the St Bernards of summer any more than I can stop hearing Elaine's voice -- "The heat! My God, the heat!"