Toilet Humor at the Self-Checkout

I've written about past adventures in the self-checkout lane (Do I Have a Choice? and back-talking machines) at the social Giant and had another one recently.

Last week, I was about to scan my groceries when I saw a huge multi-roll pack of toilet paper sitting  on the shelf in front of the scanner. Oops -- I wonder who forgot this important item.

Man at the other end of the counter was loading purchases into a bag. He must have forgotten about the toilet paper.

"Excuse me sir," I said, "Is this toilet paper yours?"

"Oh, " he glanced up, "No. I don't need to go that badly." He then chuckled as he picked up his bags to leave, "Sorry about that."

A few minutes when I almost finished bagging my groceries I heard, "Is this yours?"

I looked up and saw a woman -- about to start scanning her items -- point to the gargantuan pack of toilet. I replied, "No, I was wondering whose it is. I asked the man in front of me the same thing and he said 'no' too!"

The woman shook her head and chuckled, "Uh-oh, this is something you don't want to run out of!"

Silent, not Social Giant

Last September, I wrote about how social Olney's Giant is. No matter what time of day or night I go there, at least a few cars are parked outside with some customers and employees inside. I feel secure seeing others shopping there, especially before storms (stocking up on food), during sewage issues (buying bottled drinking water) and after blizzards (restocking food after being dug out).

One morning last spring, after plodding through school drop-off and Route 108 rush hour traffic, I entered Giant's parking lot ... and saw NO cars. Puzzled by the empty lot, I checked for emergency vehicles, which to my relief were absent. Still, the scene was eerie. Where was everyone? Was Giant closed at 7:30am? Have I entered The Twilight Zone?

I crept into the store and spied two people at the customer service desk. Relieved that I hadn't walked into a crime scene, I quickly picked up a few items and headed toward self-checkout. Just then another person cautiously tiptoed into the store.

"Is there anyone else here?" the customer peered about. "Oh good, another shopper!" She too had wondered if the store was closed or if something sinister was going on when she saw the deserted parking lot.

For once, the Social Giant was a more silent than social!