Toilet Humor at the Self-Checkout

I've written about past adventures in the self-checkout lane (Do I Have a Choice? and back-talking machines) at the social Giant and had another one recently.

Last week, I was about to scan my groceries when I saw a huge multi-roll pack of toilet paper sitting  on the shelf in front of the scanner. Oops -- I wonder who forgot this important item.

Man at the other end of the counter was loading purchases into a bag. He must have forgotten about the toilet paper.

"Excuse me sir," I said, "Is this toilet paper yours?"

"Oh, " he glanced up, "No. I don't need to go that badly." He then chuckled as he picked up his bags to leave, "Sorry about that."

A few minutes when I almost finished bagging my groceries I heard, "Is this yours?"

I looked up and saw a woman -- about to start scanning her items -- point to the gargantuan pack of toilet. I replied, "No, I was wondering whose it is. I asked the man in front of me the same thing and he said 'no' too!"

The woman shook her head and chuckled, "Uh-oh, this is something you don't want to run out of!"

Man's Best Friend Behind the Wheel

During the winter, I trudged through the Giant parking lot, pushing a cart of groceries when I suddenly did a double-take: I spotted this calm canine sitting in the driver's seat of a car. Normally I worry about dogs in cars but that morning, the temperatures were still in the 30's so I felt the pup was safe. Instead, I marveled at the familiarity of the dog's pose ...

... because this patient pooch reminded me of a parent waiting to pick up a kid from an activity -- an all-too-familiar scene here in Olney -- or of an empty-nester spouse waiting for his or her spouse to finish shopping. 

As I passed in front of the car, I saw the dog from a different angle -- he looked like he was actually driving the car! Like most humans, though, this canine looked a bit weary of endless carpools, pick-ups and drop-offs. I could almost hear him, "Ruff! Okay, where to next?"

This Won't Make You Want a Flu Shot ...

During my weekly grocery trip to socialize shop at Giant, I overheard a customer at the flu shot clinic gently rib the pharmacist, “It’s probably not a good idea to give out pens with the word ‘hearse’ on them to fill out flu shot forms.”

The pharmacist sheepishly smiled. “Oops – I didn’t realize the pen said ‘hearse’. Do you want another one?”

The customer replied good-naturedly, “Nah, it’s okay. I assume I won’t need one because of the shot.”

I wondered if the customer meant a pen or a hearse!

I also saw many people pushing carts with PILES of green Harris Teeter bags! Perhaps they all encountered the same HT representative at Olney Community Night that I did and like me, they couldn’t say no.

What's on the Bag?

As I noted in an earlier post "Social Giant", I usually shop at Giant but occasionally visit one of the other three grocery stores in town. One of those establishments, Harris Teeter, hosted a table by the exhibit hall entrance at last week’s Olney Community Night.  As I shuffled behind the crowd entering the exhibit hall, I couldn’t help but pause in front of the table. Despite trying to avoid any eye contact, I couldn’t pass the table quickly or stealthily enough.

"Would you like one?" the Harris Teeter representative greeted me, holding out a green Harris Teeter cloth bag. I hesitated and -- as silly as this may sound -- panicked mildly. I thought, 'Augh! I seldom shop at Harris Teeter! I don't want to appear disloyal while shopping at Giant!'

Not wanting to be ungracious, I smiled and accepted the bag quietly. When I returned home, I gave the Harris Teeter bag to my husband to stash in his car. I figure 1) he rarely grocery shops and 2) even if he does and visits Giant, he’ll look like the traitor, not me!

Does anyone else ever worry about shopping in one store while carrying a cloth bag emblazoned with another store's name?

Social Giant

I first heard of grocery shopping as a way to meet people back in the 1990's with upper Georgetown's "Social Safeway". Attracting young singles, the Social Safeway was a hot spot for romantic grocery runs. 

Cut to Giant Food in Olney, 2015: another time, another place, but also a hot spot or hub of mingling. The main differences now are 1) tired moms, dads and other family members instead of young singles cruise the aisles and 2) the encounters are platonic reminiscences, not romantic pick-ups. 

My weekly grocery runs are on early Sunday mornings, when I spy the regulars: a neighbor, an administrator from my kids' preschool ... and other people whose faces I recognize but whose names I can't readily recall. If I go later on Sunday, I often see more familiar faces: parents from my kids' preschool and elementary schools (my kids are now teenagers), parents from kids' long-abandoned activities, former fellow MOMS Club members, and others -- most of whom I would never see unless we happened to shop in the same place at the same time. Our paths rarely cross anymore, except at the Social Giant. 

Before our town's Safeway underwent renovations, I even saw a Safeway cashier shopping at Giant! "What are you doing here?" I asked to which he merely smiled silently and put his finger to his lips,  gesturing "shhhh". I spotted the always upbeat Olney post office worker at Giant on another visit.  

My grocery runs often turn into hour-long mixers -- here's to Olney's own Social Giant (and Social Safeway, Social Harris Teeter, Social Shopper's, and Social Roots. I always bump into someone familiar there too)!